Only now can the truth be told!
Brenlen Internet Services has left the planet. Actually, they left in 2001. The story is a strange and unique adventure that spans several galaxies and races. Previously, because of national security concerns and, to a lesser degree, alimony litigation, Joe Kesonue, the founder of Brenlen and later Captain of the Starship Brenlandia, felt it best to keep the story secret. But truth always finds the light of day and through Freedom of Information requests, expert investigation, and the statute of limitations running out on his ex's lawsuit, their amazing story can now be told.
Established in 1997, Brenlen quickly rose to become a regional fixture in the PC Repair, Education, and Internet Presence industry. Not satisfied with anything less than a global presence, Joe advertised his services using every available medium; print, commercial radio, TV, even shortwave. But it was his experimental microwave transmissions using stacked arrays of thousands of Pringle Can resonators [http://www.oreillynet.com/cs/weblog/view/wlg/448] that caught the attention of potential customers on an intergalactic scale. Initial contact was, understandably, cautious. But the chubby little customers, later revealed to have been from the planet Adipose 3, quickly warmed up to Joe and his talented staff.
Word quickly spread among other celestial travelers of their fast, friendly service. Soon service calls were coming in from far away locals such as Arcadia, Arkannis Major, Poosh (the main planet, not it's lost moon), Betelgeuse, Clom (before it was stolen), and many others. The highlight of this period was the call to replace some aging components on a famous starship, the TARDIS. Excentric, but a genius (ask him, he'll tell you) the ship's Captain, know only as "The Doctor", had heard great things about Brenlen and called while in orbit around Flane. This encounter lead to additional contracts on Gallifrey. It was a busy time for the crew at Brenlen. Business was good, but it was becoming increasingly hard to keep secret their tax-free clientele.
In July of 2001, in what was later revealed to be a diversionary move by the US government, Joe was called to assist the military overseas. Without the Captain at the helm, he had no choice but to shudder the shop while he served along side his warrior bretheren. Upon his return to the US later, Joe discovered that the Earth-based portion of his humble corporation had been methodically dismantled by lawyers, politicians, and liberals, all as equally vile, soulless, and morally bankrupt as Daleks. Once the evil truth had been revealed, a choice had to be made.
Not one to take unmitigated goverenmental corporate sodomy without a fight (unlike the majority of auto industry and bank CEO's today), Joe knew his only choice was to regroup, relocate, and concentrate his efforts on his sizeable list of celestial customers only.
Today BIS is one of the only true "intergalactic" corporations. All that remains of their operations on this fourth rock from the sun (you haven't heard about the invisible one yet) is this mysterious domain. Perhaps a nostalgic link to their home plant, maybe an unimportant detail left to drift, its sudden release back to the public domain by forces unknown may forever remain a enigma. Or maybe, with 2012 fast approaching, Joe is subtly paving the way for his triumphant return just in time for the 5th temporal shift and realignment of reality. When the matter settles and the electrons re-align, Joe and his crew will be there to fix your PC.
Will you? |
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